{"id":8045,"date":"2025-12-19T16:48:40","date_gmt":"2025-12-19T16:48:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.heyitsclarice.com\/?p=8045"},"modified":"2025-12-19T16:58:56","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T16:58:56","slug":"finding-myself-at-39-christmas-reflections-on-motherhood-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heyitsclarice.com\/it\/finding-myself-at-39-christmas-reflections-on-motherhood-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Myself at 39 | Christmas Reflections on Motherhood &amp; Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Rebuilding identity, motherhood, mental health, and personal growth after change<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Christmas has always been a reflective time for me, but this year feels different for many reasons. At 39, this season has been about finding myself again \u2014 slowly, imperfectly, and with more honesty than ever before. We\u2019ve moved away from what was familiar in Rome to start our life again, on our own terms. Stepping away from comfort and routine has been unexpectedly healing. It has given us space to understand who we are \u2014 not only as a couple, but also as individuals and as parents \u2014 in this new chapter of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For the first time in years, I feel safe enough \u2014 emotionally and mentally \u2014 to pause, look back, and share what the last several years have really been like. So much has happened that, for a long time, I didn\u2019t even know where to begin. Maybe that\u2019s why I stayed quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Returning to This Space After Motherhood and Change<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I started this blog in my late twenties. I was ambitious, curious, and full of ideas. I wanted to accomplish many things, but I also struggled deeply with self-sabotaging habits. I didn\u2019t yet have the tools or awareness to understand them, let alone work through them. Over time, that desire faded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Still, every year, I kept renewing the domain and paying for the blog \u2014 even when I wasn\u2019t writing. Somewhere deep down, I think I knew this space still mattered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fast forward to now: I\u2019m 39, married, a mom of two young children, with a dog, living in Northern Italy in the Veneto region. We moved here in January 2025, and without exaggeration, it has been one of the best decisions we\u2019ve ever made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How Environment Affects Mental Health and Family Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Life looks different now. My husband is often away for work, and I\u2019m frequently solo parenting two kids under five, plus a very energetic dog. It\u2019s busy, and some days are tiring \u2014 but it\u2019s no longer the kind of stress that drains the life out of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Compared to how I felt living in Rome, this season feels lighter, calmer, and more aligned. Our family experienced a period of deep unhappiness there for a variety of reasons, largely because as our life evolved, the environment no longer supported what we needed for our next stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This isn\u2019t about people being \u201cwrong\u201d or relationships being at fault \u2014 it\u2019s about recognizing when an environment no longer supports your mental and emotional wellbeing. While I\u2019m not ready to unpack all of that yet, I know that in 2026 I will. For now, it\u2019s enough to acknowledge that leaving was part of my healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Everything I share here reflects my personal experience and inner journey, not judgments about others or the choices they\u2019ve made.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Personal Growth and Identity After Motherhood While Finding Myself at 39<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As we move toward a new year, I wanted to pause and reflect on a few things I\u2019m grateful for \u2014 not as achievements to perform, but as quiet markers of growth. These reflections mark an important part of finding myself at 39 after motherhood and major life changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. I\u2019m starting to feel like myself again<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not all at once, but little by little. There\u2019s a sense of recognition returning \u2014 like meeting an old friend and realizing she never really left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. I\u2019ve made new friends<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There were years, especially after becoming a mom, when I genuinely believed I was incapable of forming meaningful connections. I felt awkward, stuck in my head, constantly second-guessing interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What I\u2019m learning now is that I <em>am<\/em> capable. I might still be awkward \u2014 and more introverted than ever \u2014 but the right people stay curious, kind, and open. Real connection, even friendship, takes time. And I\u2019m allowed to take up space while it grows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. I\u2019m redefining who I am beyond my appearance<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If I\u2019m not my body, my face, or my hair \u2014 then who am I? How do I actually want to feel in myself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Navigating pregnancy and postpartum while living far from the support systems I was used to forced me to confront something uncomfortable but necessary: I had to become my own best friend. I had to learn how to support myself emotionally and lean into my husband in ways I hadn\u2019t before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Through this process, we\u2019ve grown a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another. Seeking support through therapy \u2014 including working with a bilingual psychologist via platforms like <strong>Unobravo<\/strong> \u2014 helped us build healthier communication and perspective during a challenging season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Somewhere along the way, I realized how much I missed feeling strong and powerful. Returning to the gym wasn\u2019t about changing my body like it was in my twenties \u2014 it was about healing. Movement became a way for me to regulate my emotions, feel grounded, and rebuild trust in myself. At the same time, my mindset had to evolve. Motherhood changed me, and pretending otherwise only created friction.  Rebuilding my relationship with movement became an unexpected part of finding myself at 39 during this season of motherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I also realized that consistency didn\u2019t come from forcing myself into one rigid way of moving. To stay consistent, I needed to align with movement that felt enjoyable and sparked curiosity \u2014 alongside forms I was already familiar with, like weight and circuit training. There wasn\u2019t only one path to progress. Allowing space for different kinds of movement helped me reconnect with my body in a way that felt sustainable and kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ve learned, too, that not everything I do needs to be productive or perfect. I need movement, yes \u2014 but I also need hobbies that invite relaxation, creativity, and play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Choosing Growth, Mental Health, and Presence Over Accumulation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Finding myself at 39 has taught me this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I want to see myself thrive \u2014 not through accumulating things, but through growth. Through pursuing dreams. Through tending to my mental health. Through being present for my husband and my children. Through building a life that feels honest and aligned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This post isn\u2019t a conclusion. It\u2019s a beginning. And for the first time in a long time, that feels enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">xo,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Clarice<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Other blog posts that I found helpful <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mother.ly\/birth\/matrescence-identity-shift-motherhood\/\">Identity Shift Motherhood<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lesmills.com\/articles\/postpartum-anxiety\/\">Movement and anxiety in motherhood<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/careforwomen.ca\/the-importance-of-movement-during-and-after-pregnancy-for-maternal-health-2\/\">Materinty and Wellness<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rebuilding identity, motherhood, mental health, and personal growth after change Christmas has always been a reflective time for me, but this year feels different for many reasons. At 39, this season has been about finding myself again \u2014 slowly, imperfectly, and with more honesty than ever before. We\u2019ve moved away from what was familiar in [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,4],"tags":[168,169,173,170,172,171],"class_list":["post-8045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness","category-lifestyle","tag-finding-myself-at-39","tag-identity-after-motherhood","tag-life-transitions","tag-mental-health-in-motherhood","tag-motherhood-journey","tag-personal-growth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Finding Myself at 39 | Christmas Reflections on Motherhood &amp; Growth - Hey it&#039;s Clarice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Rebuilding identity, motherhood, mental health, and personal growth after change Christmas has always been a reflective time for me, but this year feels\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.heyitsclarice.com\/it\/finding-myself-at-39-christmas-reflections-on-motherhood-growth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"it_IT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding Myself at 39 | Christmas Reflections on Motherhood &amp; 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