How to Set New Goals
Tick, tock, ready or not we’ve finally turned the corner and we’re in 2018 ladies, Happy New Year! I’ve been reflecting on the year that just passed and planning some big goals and milestones this year (I’M GETTING MARRIED) but a part of me usually feels some sort of anxiety, particularly at this time of the year. Do you believe in New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t. Research shows by the second week of February, 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail, however, according to Statistic Brain “people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions”. People who are successful in achieving their resolutions came in at 9%, so with these stats, I decided to do something different. Want to know my secret? I set short and long-term goals throughout the year, create a vision board and re-evaluate as I go along.
In all honesty, I can’t stand the hype that surrounds particular social celebrations and holidays (like Valentine’s Day, New Years and dare I say it, Weddings). I didn’t always feel this way, but maybe with age (yaaa, let’s blame it on getting older), I’ve come to realize that people put such a high expectation on the event and their surroundings rather than the moment itself. Then before the blink of an eye, it’s over. Another year passes and every year after that, there’s the added pressure to top your last party, whether it be yours or The Joneses. Maybe I’ve just chilled out and outgrown wanting to compete, I feel more of the opposite, sh*t needs to slow right down. Like way, w-a-y, down.
As a result of narrowing down the causes of my anxiety, I felt the need to create a way of life and thinking that serves me and makes me feel whole versus “I need to catch up with everyone”. These things are all great, don’t get me wrong (especially the sales after the holidays) but I find the concept behind these events to be counterproductive for a person and their wellbeing. I don’t think it’s healthy to avoid setting goals and dreaming, I actually feel the contrary, I one hundred percent support creating your own lane, making your own box and finding something that works for you.
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, often it serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee
Goals help guide your focus.
Goal setting is incredibly important, they help to build self-confidence and increase productivity. Setting goals allow you to naturally direct your attention towards a next step and as a result points you into the direction which signals for your feelings, actions, and behaviors to react and follow. Your body responds by following everything your mind says, so be especially conscious of your self-talk.
How to Create Compelling Goals
Identify your goals
What do you want to do? (Complete an Ironman in the Philippines? Conquer your fear of public speaking? Learn a new language? Buy a vacation home in the country of your dreams? What do you want to be? What type of friends do you want to be surrounded by? What are some skills you want to develop?)
The more clarity you have about your goals, the action steps towards achieving them are easier to define.
Know your “why”
Why do you want it? How will it improve your life (financially, spiritually, romantically, mentally and physically? How will it impact and affect the lives of others around you and your community?)
When you’re aware of the reasons behind your goals, you’ll find it easier to move towards them and the determination to make them happen when you hit roadblocks.
“If you can remember why you started, then you will know why you must continue” – C. Burkmenn
Here are some guidelines to keep in mind for successful goal setting by Mindtools:
1. Set Goals That Motivate You
The big picture should both excite and motivate you to light a fire under your booty, let’s be real. It needs to hold a real significance in your life, like a dream you’ve been holding onto since you were a little girl playing with your Barbies. Regardless of it’s putting more effort into your looks, getting into better shape (or better yet, the best shape of your life) or taking more responsibility in your finances by learning how to invest or better manage your money (ladies, I love my boo-boo but I have more peace of mind knowing that I can take care of myself if I need to). If the grind scares you, your dreams or goals aren’t big enough.
2. Be Realistic & Set Achievable Goals
“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Tony Robbins
Without setting a date it’s difficult to measure your success and progress. It’s truly powerful to see how far you’ve come and grown from the days when your goals were up in your head and now jotted down on a piece of paper with concrete experiences attached to it.
Set Attainable Goals
Make sure that it’s possible to achieve the goals you set. If you plan on saving an extra $1000 towards your backpacking trip through Peru, but you’ve dished out on new threads from the Spring collection at Revolve, Peru might not happen. Instead of the all or nothing approach, set a budget (even better make jars that list the weekly amount you need to set aside to reach your final goal).
3. Write it Down
The act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. There’s no way you’re going to forget about it, there’s no self-sabotaging when your deepest dreams and desires are staring back at you from the page.
4. Hang in there!
It’s going to get tough at times, try to surround yourself with like-minded go-getters, goal-setters or friends that will keep you accountable to help you stick it through.
So there you have it! I think the move is to set goals that are motivational, attainable but also that challenge you to grow and be even more of the person you were created to be. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better and improve your direction, in fact, I would argue that life is all about growth and change.
I wish you all a beautiful and blessed New Year and hoping that 2018 brings you closer to living your true dreams.
Business Insider. (2017, January 3). 80% of New Years Resolutions Fail by February – Here’s How to Keep Yours.[Blog Post] Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/new-years-resolutions-courses-2016-12?IR=T Statistic Brain. (2017, January 1). New Years Resolutions Statistics. [Blog Post] Retrieved from https://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
Mind Tools. (n.d). Golden Rules of Goal Setting Five Rules to Set Yourself Up for Success.[Blog Post] Retrieved from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_90.htm